What What, in the Butt

This week has been a total let down.

So here is a giant squid attacking a train.

47076a7b917da8bcef647e69cb499ffcc2d83f21_m

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Hungry? Knit some food!

Anyone hungry?

23e2df806999e42b0cb61bfb3261b8dfbbe9f3d7_mknit happy meal!!!

 

449ba41e5d2cac2fbe198864869a2186ec7c27ee_mknit sushi!!!!! i fucking love sushi.

 

3855921620_216b049cdaTiny knit ice cream!!!!

 

3885140192_ef5f9aeddfTiny knit hamburger!!!!

 

ad069af099b6e02b5bb70d9b6e4489558c951530_mknit sandwich anyone?

 

b74aaf555eb970c3a1fdd6e7b2b5dd2a7a971286_mknit school lunch?

 

f66f8ab0c6ecd4accbebca38e724dedf9fda7e61_mknit BLT!!!!!

 

knit_beet1i’ve never actually tasted a beet, but after seeing this, i think i want to.

 

 

i love knit stuff.

and i love food. i’m hungry now, but i have no food in my apartment and no money for food.

LAME.

 

Are you calling me darling?

Well it’s Saturday night and since being excommunicated from girlfriendom, I have no friends. Or rather friends who won’t return my phone calls/texts. Yep, I’m one classy broad.

I slept the entire day away.

8.30pm on Friday night to 11.30 am this morning and then laying in bed periodically falling in and out of sleep till around 7.00pm. Aside from work and the need to drink, there really isn’t any reason for me to get up anymore. I’d get up and go to bars or coffee shops or something and meet people, but those things require money. Something that a person who gets paid once a month does not have.

But enough about my problems. (I’ve got 99 of em, but a bitch ain’t one)

 

Without further adieu, here are some ink drawings I did for a class where the over all opinion of my teacher was “these would be great, if they didn’t suck so hard”

DSC_0394_537This was a simple line value study. The first one was voted favorite by my class.

 

DSC_0393_536We had to do a line drawing. For three years I’ve had it beaten into my head that a good image needs to have a foreground middleground and background. I was violently jolted back into reality when my teacher said “Why do you have a background? And what’s up with her legs?”

Overall, the perfect solution to this would be to get rid of the layer cake background and make her fade off or do something cool with her bottom half.

 

Well ladies and vagina friendly men, I’ve got some iced tea and lemon vodka here that isn’t going to drink itself. Drinking alone makes me feel like an alcoholic, but I’m not really alone if i can hear my next door neighbor having rowdy sex, right?

I’m gunna high five her through the wall. At least someone is getting laid tonight.

Knit Me A New Life

Does anyone else love knitting as much as I do? I am by no means an advanced knitting champion, but I can knit up a mean scarf or cardigan when I need to. My mom recently came back from Maine with three balls of alpaca wool. I ❤ it. It’s incredibly soft and smells like mother nature’s armpits. The balls are relatively small, so a scarf will be made from them. Pictures will come later.

In the mean time…I’ve become obsessed with finding knit things made by people obsessed with knitting on the interwebs:

7ecde310557f0ecba0f831de706fc656698ecc5b_mI’ve totally seen this girl’s work before, but cannot remember her name. (if anyone does, please let me know) She does knit graffiti art: find something and knit it a cozy.

 

tree-sweatersNot sure if this is done by the same girl. But I really wanna go knit tree sweaters now.

 

 

92b17067a59373eaf7b1d5231b78350f0ffc8f9e_mThe name of this artist has also escaped me. I stumbled upon an article where a woman covered a gas station in knit materials as part of a protest. Alas, I can’t seem to stumble back on that article.

 

il_fullxfull.48179302

il_430xN.48179304Yes, someone did in fact knit a dead rat, mid-dissection.

Isn’t that fucking cool? Who would think to knit that? I’m just sorry I didn’t!

 

knit_ferrari2A grad student at some “fancy, shmancy” art school, knit a Ferrari LIFE SIZE!! It would really have made my day to see the sheen on the windows knit in, but hey…this bitch knit a fucking Ferrari.

 

moto_de_crocheTheresa Honeywell is the maker of this motorcycle cozy. She makes some badass knit objects: knit machine gun, knit jack hammer, knit screwdriver cozy, knit tool belt with knit tools. She also makes these sweet lace tattoos. Check it out.

 

911f715a3ea3883533ad21e8b2da0f3ae5cbd8d4_mIn conjunction with Knit Dissected Rat, here is Knit Dead Kitten.

 

3753883155_5431a0ebf0I found a whole community on Flickr dedicated to knit miniatures. On it, was a girl who knit meer cats. Not only were there just meer cats, there were meer cats in amusing scenes. Like this one, of baby meer cat Jesus with meer cats Mary and Joseph.

 

You guys like knit food? Well that will happen later on in the week. (It’s god damn amazing how much knit food there is out there that people have made). For now, here are some cupcakes with icing made to look like knitting materials! Enjoy!

296172011d07cc8765da3245a3ee3ce6094a9043_moh god…WANT!!!

Have I found you?

Hey look! It’s my sketchbook!

DSC_0386_529It’s also doubled as my note book for 3d kinetic anatomy, art history of africa, and a 70s film class.

 

DSC_0389_532Nothin like the Fugitive Slave Act of 1793.

 

DSC_0390_533I like my adhesives shiny, that way it’s impossible to take a picture of it.

 

DSC_0387_530I’m into hand writing everything I hear. And defacing other artists’ work.

 

DSC_0385_528I dont have an explanation for this.

If I had a Sexual Fantasy About Obama, This is What it Would Look Like:

I need to share this with you.

I believe the artist’s name is Lacey…Dave or Dan or something like that.

80769884Yes, that is in fact a naked Obama on a unicorn wielding a sword, accompanied by Hugh Laurie and what appears to be Stalin.

I’m can’t tell if Lacey is pro or anti Obama.

80769885Legend has it, that once the capital building falls, it grows rainbows.

80769886This one is my favorite. Mostly because of that sweet eye on the unicorn. But it also includes Obama’s pubes.

80769887I believe Lacey purposely left the chick’s face out so I could paint my own in.

80769888What I don’t understand is why the unicorn’s mane is white, but his tail is rainbow. Aside from that this is a true story: Obama does in fact fight fat republicans in the sky.

80769889Bear?

80769890This one is pretty sexy. Michelle totes wishes she was that unicorn right now.

80769891Obama and his unicorn were trained by NASA engineers to diffuse rockets.

80769893Michelle has got some JUNK in her TRUNK. Wooooo!

 

I wish I knew why Obama was accompanied by a unicorn in all of these. But that would take the wonder and mystery out of these fantastical works of art.

God, I wish someone would paint a series of me with a unicorn. Or even a pegasus. Yeah, mythical creatures are pretty BAMF.